Category: Farming Women

“Just a Farm Wife” Panel

A month ago I took a quick trip (36 hrs) down to Tuscon, Arizona to participate in a panel to discuss farm wife life and all that comes with it. I was on a panel with Holly Spangler (Editor, Prairie Farmer & Executive Editor, Farm Progress), Sherry Saylor (Farm Bureau legend, school counselor and quite possibly the funniest person I’ve ever met), Laura Daniels (Hitch Pin Consulting & DairyGirl Network), and our moderator Kirbe Schnoor (FarmHer & RanchHer TV Host).

The panel went great, we covered a lot of heavy topics like work life balance, succession planning, farm life stress and how to manage it, and all that comes along with “just being a farm wife.” I say the “just a farm wife” jokingly but while I was on the way to the airport and chatting with my Uber driver, he asked what I was speaking about and I told him, “I was speaking on a panel to farm wives about challenges, succession, that kind of stuff.” and he responded, “Farm wives….aren’t all wives of farmers just farmers themselves?! I have never known anyone to live on a farm and not have a role beyond ‘just a wife!'”

He didn’t say it mean but he was for sure calling me out just a little, which is funny considering my adult life has mostly been talking about how we all have important roles, and how women have been “the farmer” for a long time but just never checked the box in the USDA survey to say they were. But anyhow it sparked a great conversation about women in farming, how things have changed from the days gone by and how women have always and still do play a very important role.

Laura, myself, Kirbe, Sherry & Holly

The panel was only an hour and I still sit here today weeks later thinking of things I should have added or could have said. There just wasn’t the time to cover all the conversations and discussion that a panel of farm wives could bring about. But I did walk away with some key concepts that really resonated with me.

One was from Laura Daniels of Hitch Pin Consulting. She brought up a great point that maybe it’s unfruitful and even overwhelming to strive for a true work life balance that is unattainable and usually is attached with guilt. She re-framed the term, “Strive to be present in what you’re doing. Wherever your feet might be, be truly there.” I love this point and as someone who is guilt ridden as the next mom it gave me a new way to look at how I’m spending my time.

While the discussion was moving along I thought in my head that this panel alone represents so many organizations, so much time out of the home. And then the conversation shifted to the fact that all of us with kids, different roles on the farm, some with jobs off the farm etc. Kirbe Schnoor (host of the show Farmher and moderator of our panel) brought up another piece of the puzzle, adding that while these ladies are hitting a season of life that allows for involvement off the farm or farm adjacent, it’s also ok to just be home with the kids and taking care of a household. It’s ok to be in the season of life to say no. Which hit very much home for me and allowed me to expand on the fact that 6 years ago I stepped back from everything, I paused pieces of my life that took me away from my kids, for five years I said no to it all. And then this past year I have slowly started volunteering again in a few different capacities.

From that point on in the conversations seasons were a big theme. Of the four of us sitting there we all had kids at different ages. We all entered the agricultural world at different times in our lives, and we all have a different future ahead of us. But looking at your “season of life” was something that we all worked hard to be honest with ourselves about, and I think that helps us all be more successful for where we are today. Life isn’t easy, but it’s easier when you allow yourself to be honest about what your capabilities are in that time period.

Along with seasons was another great point that no matter what point you’re at in your life, you always need a tribe of friends to help you through. Find people in your life who understand your mom life, understand your working life and fall on them when you need it. That community has saved me time and time again and I can’t say it enough that we all need help sometimes.

The panel was truly a joy to participate in. There were a lot of laughs and emotions, but I hope that other women walked away knowing that they aren’t alone in this life of “just being a farm wife” and there are so many of us out there that understand that it’s just not that simple ever. I’m thankful to Bayer for recognizing the need for networking and having time to connect with other women. I’m also very excited for the number of women that I met that I’m sure I’ll run into down the road at other ag and farming events, always great to have friends all over the country! And lastly I learned a very good lesson, if you end up getting the chance to go to sunny Arizona in January, stay for more than 36 hours!

Wrapping up Grass Seed Harvest

Somedays it feels like we just got started harvesting grass seed this summer. And other days it feels like day 8,537. But irregardless we are wrapping things up on grass harvest of 2024.

It’s gone pretty good. The straw yields are way up. The seed yields are average to up some. It was a strange year with conditions feeling different almost in every field we went into harvest. Lots of setting and resetting of our machines which makes for longer days or at least longer feeling.

We also added two new drivers into the mix as subs when our main two drivers aren’t here. One was our son Hoot, who did an amazing job and took to the job very quickly. Millie also learned to drive the ute, so life looks a lot like getting chauffeured around lately.

Next up is wheat. Which is one of the most fun since it also means the kids get to bale up their small decorative wheat bales for porch decor for this coming fall!! Stay tuned for a chance to get your hands on those cute little things!

Finishing up this crop feels like we finished a marathon that started about a year ago. And one that will start again here shortly as we start to take care of fields for the next years crop, giving some water to start up again, working ground and planting the fields that are rotating, and overall making sure that we set up to reset for another year of farming.

But like I said we still have a little ways to go for this year’s harvest. Wheat, radish and filberts are still left for 2024.

Farm Help

As a farm mom I’ve been taking my kids to work with me for a very long time, 9 years to be exact. We have a lot of childcare help but there is also a lot of time that they are with me. Moving to the actual home place this past year helped immensely, but it’s still a struggle sometimes to have kiddos in tow while you’re trying to work. Just the other day Millie got to come get fertilizer with me when school was unexpectedly cancelled.

But then a few days ago, I must have blinked or something because instead of wrangling three kids under four while trying to get something done; I walked into the house, asked the oldest to come help us move equipment, kissed the other two and headed out to get a job done.

It was a quick job, move stuff out of the field that got planted the day before, but having our son Hoot out there to give us a hand was super helpful and made for a much quicker turn around. It’s not the first time he’s helped and his brother Auggie is a close second to being on the very helpful end. Millie is….well I have no doubt that she will also sneak up into the the helpful category before I know it.

There is a part of me that I know will not avoid the “you’re gonna miss this” of those toddler raising days; but in this moment I was just really proud that we’ve gotten this far.